


On the clear understanding that this kind of thing can happen

by achoo_gesundheit



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Covid-19 pandemic, Fandom Trumps Hate 2020, M/M, Multi, Pining, Polyamory, quarantine fic, the yearning is real
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:21:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28193115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/achoo_gesundheit/pseuds/achoo_gesundheit
Summary: Joshua had been in quarantine for seventeen days when the first pie showed up - strawberry rhubarb, with a note taped to the tin foil that said Dear Neighbor: Here’s a pie. Sincerely, Jack Z.  -Apt. 2.
Relationships: Eric "Bitty" Bittle/Jack Zimmermann, Eric "Bitty" Bittle/Jack Zimmermann/Original Male Character(s)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 58
Collections: Fandom Trumps Hate 2020





	On the clear understanding that this kind of thing can happen

**Author's Note:**

  * For [picklesandsweetpea](https://archiveofourown.org/users/picklesandsweetpea/gifts).



> A Fandom Trumps Hate fic for picklesandsweetpea!
> 
> Many thanks to Zoey, for her virtual learning insights, to Anna, for being a fresh pair of eyes, and to K, for always fixing my commas.

Joshua had been in quarantine for seventeen days when the first pie showed up - strawberry rhubarb, with a note taped to the tin foil that said  _ Dear Neighbor: Here’s a pie. Sincerely, Jack Z. -Apt. 2.  _

He knew, of course, who Jack Z was. Everyone in Providence knew who Jack Z was. And Joshua was vaguely aware that he lived in the same building as him, had seen him returning sweaty and breathless after a run in the early hours of the morning. He always offered an awkward wave and half-smile that made Joshua weak in the knees and a little sweaty himself. 

“Early start?” Jack asked once, on one of those normal days just before the world shut down. He startled Joshua from where he was standing at his own front door, trying to remember if he’d turned the coffee maker off. 

“Oh,” he said, turning around. “Yeah. Um. School.”

Jack nodded politely, and Joshua felt compelled to clarify. 

“Teaching, I mean. I’m a teacher.”

“Oh!” Jack said brightly. “That’s nice.”

“Yeah,” Joshua replied.

Jack nodded again. “Kids are cool.”

“Kids are monsters,” Joshua said, before he could stop himself, and then immediately slapped a hand over his mouth. “I mean!” he said between his fingers. “They’re great! Kids are great. I love kids. I don’t think my kids are monsters. I’m a good teacher, I swear!”

Jack’s eyes widened to a comic degree, and Joshua was sure it was over, this budding neighborly relationship snuffed out before it had really begun. But then Jack just chuckled, offering another one of those little half-smiles. “Best be off then, eh? Good teachers can’t be late.”

“Right,” Joshua replied, grateful. “Punctuality. That is a trait I possess.”

“Okay,” Jack said with a wave. “See ya.”

“Bye.”

Joshua watched him retreat down the hallway, and then walked numbly down to his car, spent five minutes banging his head dully against the steering wheel, and then was very nearly late after all. 

Four weeks later he found a pie on his doormat. 

+

Joshua knew, of course, that Jack had a partner. Their kiss had been front-page of the sports section after the Stanley Cup win, and he’d heard they’d gotten engaged not long after. He’d seen the guy around - small, blonde, cute butt, usually carrying baked goods - but they had never really run into each other (which, given Joshua’s propensity for awkward conversations with neighbors, he’d always imagined was for the best). But that strawberry rhubarb pie was actually the most delicious pie he had ever eaten, and while he was a responsible adult who fed himself three square meals a day, he was far from a home gourmet. He knew after the first bite that his diet - nay, his life - could not go on as it had. Which is why he may have taped a note to the door of Apartment 2 thanking them profusely for the pie and offering up his services should they need another mouth to feed down the road. The next day, when Joshua opened his door to go and check his mailbox, there was another pie and a zip top bag full of muffins waiting for him on his doormat. Joshua may have done an actual, exuberant, highly embarrassing dance in his pajamas when he discovered it (but no one could prove that). 

_ He added balsamic to this pie,  _ said the attached note. _ Also, the muffins are high in protein. Sincerely, Jack Z. -Apt. 2. _

Joshua had a slice of pie for breakfast, strawberry on his tongue, rhubarb sharp and wonderful, balsamic ringing in the back of his mouth, and he felt his life change again. 

+

The dinner invitation came on week five, along with the third pie. 

He’d meant to sneak down and get his mail, still in his pajamas and looking to avoid any kind of human interaction, but instead opened his front door to find Jack, halfway to abandoning a key lime pie on his doormat. 

“Hi,” Jack said, straightening up. He held out the pie. “He’s moved on to custards.”

“A bold move,” Joshua replied numbly, acutely aware of the fact that he was only half-dressed. 

Jack smiled. “Nice pants.”

“Oh, these old things?” Joshua waved a hand in the general vicinity of his knees, where he knew rainbow unicorns were dancing across flamingo pink fabric. “Just something I threw on.”

Jack chuckled, and Joshua’s stomach did a little unicorn dance of its own. 

“A gift from my students,” Joshua explained, gesturing to his pants again. 

“Yeah, you said you were a teacher,” Jack replied. “How’s that going?”

Joshua cringed a bit, thinking of how his class was struggling through virtual learning, and offered Jack a shrug. “You know, we’re doing the best we can.”

“Yeah.” 

The silence stretched between them, Jack still holding a pie, Joshua still standing in his open doorway wearing nothing but unicorn pajama pants and an old t-shirt. 

“Um,” Joshua started. “How’s the, er, the hockey?”

“Paused.”

“Right.” A beat of silence. “So you’re bored, huh?”

Jack let out a whoosh of a breath, and laughed. “So bored.”

Joshua grinned, something brave and slightly unhinged bubbling up from his stomach. “Well, if you ever wanna chat, or just hang out - in a socially distanced way!” he added quickly. “I’m around.”

“Actually,” Jack said, “Bitty sort of sent me here to invite you to dinner.”

“I like dinner,” Joshua replied helpfully, and delighted in how it made Jack laugh again. 

“Okay, good. Friday night?”

“Well, I have a pretty busy social calendar, but I think I may be able to pencil you in.”

Jack handed Joshua the pie, still grinning, and shook his head. “I think he’s gonna like you.”

+

“Oh my gosh, you’re here!”

Joshua had barely set foot in Jack’s apartment when a small, blond rocket came hurtling out from the kitchen. He nearly ran up to give Joshua a hug, but Jack grabbed his elbow as he passed, pulling him to a stop. 

“Six feet, bud,” Jack reminded him. 

“Shoot! Six feet. Got it.” He wiggled his elbow at Jack. “You can let go of me, I promise I won’t bolt.”

Jack raised a skeptical eyebrow, but dropped his hand. 

“Anyway!” Bitty said. “Welcome!” He did a little wave, and Joshua waved back.

“Thanks for having me.”

“Oh my lord, truly, it’s just nice to see a face besides his for a minute,” Bitty said, flapping a hand at Jack. 

“What’s wrong with my face?” Jack asked. 

“Hush, honey, it’s not about your face.”

“I thought you liked my face.”

“Well, I certainly don’t like it at the moment with that big ol’ pout on it.”

And Jack was pouting, rather dramatically, and Bitty was rolling his eyes, fond as anything, and Joshua felt enormously out of place. 

“My face is happy to be of service,” he said stupidly, but Bitty beamed back at him. 

“Wonderful,” he said. “Now, how do you feel about lasagna?”

It turned out to be the most fun Joshua had had since they’d all been sent home. The lasagna was unbelievable, and Jack and Bitty were remarkably good company. They were also completely besotted with each other, in a way that was joyful to watch. It was all small touches and lasting looks and inside jokes and Joshua felt flattered and jealous in equal measure to have been invited into their life. There was also the necessary gratuitous handwashing, and the constant fear of touching his own face, and the niggling voice at the back of his head that was telling him this was a terrible idea, that even if he didn’t end up contracting a virus, he was undoubtedly going to come out of quarantine hopelessly heartsick. 

“This was fun,” Jack said as the evening began to wind down. Bitty’s boundless energy was finally beginning to falter, and he was leaning heavily into Jack’s shoulder. 

“A lot of fun,” Joshua agreed. “Thanks for having me.”

“You’re always welcome,” Jack said, and Bitty nodded sleepily in agreement. 

“It’s nice to have a new friend,” Bitty said, and Joshua couldn’t argue with that. 

+

And friends they were, careening into camaraderie the way people did when thrust into unfamiliar circumstances together. Like quarantine. Or wartime. Or summer camp. 

Dinner became a regular occurrence, as did lunch, and the occasional breakfast. Joshua and his students limped through online learning, and Bitty baked his way through entire cookbooks, leaving pastry offerings on doormats and coffee tables and counters. After an illuminating weigh-in on his bathroom scale one morning, Joshua took Jack up on his offer to come for a run. Joshua only made it a block before having a great number of regrets, and decided to run with Bitty instead, who at least moved at a more human pace and always brought him a muffin before they started. 

It wasn’t long before they were combining grocery lists, trying hard to minimize the number of people out and about. Bitty had done the shopping this week, and Joshua met him down at the parking deck to help carry things inside. 

“Hey, did you know your tail light is out?” Joshua said as Bitty climbed out of the car. 

“Oh, shoot! Is it really?”

Joshua nodded, grabbing a bag from the trunk. 

“And where am I supposed to find a garage that’s open in all this?” Bitty waved a hand through the air as if to indicate the entire pandemic circumstance. He sighed. “I’ll see if Jack knows anybody.”

“You can probably just change it yourself,” Joshua offered. “There’s usually instructions in the manual.”

Bitty laughed. “It’s cute that you think I am in any way capable of maintenancing a motor vehicle,” he said, gathering up the rest of the groceries. “But that is really not my area of expertise.”

“Fair enough,” Joshua laughed in return. “I could take a look though if you wanted. It’s usually not that hard.”

Which is how Joshua found himself elbow deep in the bowels of Jack and Bitty’s car, with said owners standing behind him, Jack helpfully shining his phone flashlight over Joshua’s shoulder. Joshua had checked out the manual, and it was a relatively simple operation. Open a panel here, find the catch there, old bulb out, new bulb in, easy peasy. Joshua was done in less than ten minutes. He held out the old bulb with a little ta-da motion, and gave a sweeping bow when Bitty started to clap. “Thank you, thank you, I’ll be here all day. All night. Every night for the foreseeable future.”

Bitty snorted, which was the response Joshua was going for, but Jack was just staring, eyes fixed on Joshua’s hands, which he belatedly realized were covered in unidentified car grime. 

“Well, that’s cute,” Joshua said, climbing awkwardly out of the trunk while trying not to actually touch anything. He squinted up at Jack, who was just standing there, flashlight shining directly into Joshua’s face. “Thanks for the spotlight, Jack, but I think we’re good here.”

Jack startled and finally seemed to come back to himself, immediately switching the light off. “Sorry.”

“No worries.” Joshua handed him the old bulb. “You should be all set.”

“Thank you so much,” Bitty said. “We owe you one.”

Joshua waved him off, but Jack agreed. 

“Really, if there’s anything we can help with, just let us know,” Jack said, and he said it so earnestly, like there was nothing he wanted more than to repay Joshua for this twenty minute task that any vaguely competent human being could do. It made Joshua a little desperate for something to offer to square them up again. Surely this tenuous baby friendship was still too new to stay in each other’s debt for very long. Favors had to be repaid. Who knew, quarantine could be over tomorrow and they’d have no reason to hang out with the lonely fourth grade teacher across the hall anymore. And that’s when the idea came to him. 

“Actually,” Joshua said slowly. “There might be something you could do.”

+

“Alright, class, thanks everyone for their hard work today. We’re going to finish up by bringing in a special guest who’s going to tell us a little bit more about the history we’ve been studying.” There were a few eye rolls and a couple groans as some of his kids made their distaste for social studies known. “I’d like everyone to be polite and respectful, please,” Joshua told them, adding a touch of sternness to his voice. “And then at the end, if he has some time, we can ask some questions.”

Joshua then muted all of his students, just to be safe, and checked to make sure their special guest was ready. The incoming text on his phone showed a thumbs up, and Joshua smiled. “Alright everyone, please welcome Jack Zimmermann to our classroom. He’s going to talk to us about the US Constitution.”

Jack’s face popped into view on Joshua’s computer screen, and about twenty-five percent of his kids just lost their minds. He was glad to have muted them all. 

“Hi there,” Jack said with a little wave. “I’m Jack. Thanks for letting me visit today. I really love history, and I’m always excited to talk to people about it.” 

And that was true, Joshua realized, as Jack started talking about the state of the country in 1787, and the events leading up to the start of a nation. Joshua didn’t think he’d ever really seen Jack this excited about anything. It was adorable. And kind of hot. Which is not what he needed to be thinking about while technically at work and surrounded by virtual fourth graders. 

Jack talked for about fifteen minutes, and then Joshua opened the class to questions. By this time, most of his students had figured out who Jack was, and there were even a few parents who had come to watch. Every single student had their hand up. Joshua unmuted them one by one, and there were at least three questions actually related to the lecture, so Joshua considered it a success. 

“Alright, one last question, then we have to let Jack go.” There was a wave of visible disappointment from his class, which he ignored. “Go ahead, Riley,” he said, unmuting the last student with their hand up. 

“Cool yeah hi Mr. Zimmermann! I was just wondering, what’s your favorite sport?”

Joshua sighed, because of course that would be Riley’s question. Oh well, he told them all they could ask whatever questions they’d like.

Jack nodded in thought for a moment, and then, with an entirely straight face, just said, “Curling.”

Joshua, along with every parent and several kids on the call, lost their collective shit. Riley was grinning like a madman, and Jack just winked in a way that was entirely irresponsible, and Joshua’s stomach turned over on itself. 

“Alright class, on that note, we’re going to let Jack go. Can we all thank him for his time today?” Joshua unmuted them all so they could scream their thank you’s, a chorus of out of sync voices chiming up from his laptop speakers, and then with a final little wave Jack’s video popped out of the call. Joshua assigned homework, reminded everyone about the quiz on Friday, and, with a sigh of relief, closed the classroom for the day. He could still feel his stomach somersaulting around like he was on some kind of high-thrill roller coaster. The truth, which was that he was sitting at his kitchen table pining for a man who was completely untouchable, was pathetic. “Right,” Joshua said out loud to his empty apartment. “We need ice cream.”

+

Joshua returned from the corner store forty minutes later with three quarts of ice cream and a bag of fritos, because corn chips at least somewhat resembled a vegetable. He’d just cracked open the moose tracks when there was a knock at the door. Reluctantly, and with much grumbling, Joshua stood up to answer it. 

“Hi!” Bitty said when the door opened. “I made dinner.” He held out a foil covered bowl. “It’s just pasta salad, but it’s something.” Bitty peered around the doorway into the apartment. “I’m not interrupting anything am I?”

Joshua spared a moment to consider the ice cream on his counter, and then shook his head. “Nope,” he said, and opened the door wider so Bitty could come in. “Did you already eat?”

“Not yet,” Bitty said. “Jack’s got a video date with Shitty, so I’m flying solo this evening. You wanna watch a movie?”

Which is how Joshua ended up eating pasta salad on his sofa with Bitty, and getting the full scoop on all their Samwell friends. “So Shitty is Jack’s best friend, and he’s dating Lardo, and they live with Ransom and Holster, who are not dating?” Joshua looked to Bitty for confirmation. 

“That’s the long and short of it!” Bitty was lying longways on the sofa, toes just barely poking into Joshua’s thigh. Joshua was trying valiantly not to notice. “They live in Boston, so we used to see them pretty often, but now…” Bitty made a sweeping sort of gesture that Joshua assumed was meant to encompass the quarantine and the pandemic and the bizarre circumstances they were living in. 

“Right,” Joshua said. “If they’re your friends too why aren’t you also on the video date?”

“Oh, don’t worry about me, sugar. It’s just something they do. Lardo and I talk without them all the time, too. Besides, sometimes we need a break from those boys. Especially now that Jack and I are together twenty-four seven.”

And Joshua could understand that. He’d needed a break from Jack after spending twenty minutes with him. And although he was pretty sure Bitty wasn’t referring to being consumed with overwhelming lust at the mere sight of the man, he supposed anything was possible. 

“And,” Bitty continued, “you’re my friend now, too.” He smiled up at Joshua, and Joshua could feel his cheeks going red, could feel the warmth of Bitty next to him, and could feel his heart being pulled into something he knew would get him into trouble. All he wanted to do was lean into that warmth, but instead he got up, went into the kitchen, and pulled out the moose tracks. 

“Ice cream?” He asked, holding the quart up so Bitty could see it.

Bitty smiled, nodded, and sat up, feet on the floor, miles and miles of space between his side of the sofa and Joshua. 

Joshua had just sat back down with his ice cream for the second time that day, when he was once again interrupted by a knock at the door. Joshua groaned, but set his bowl down and went to let in Jack, who was holding his phone up in front of his face. 

“Hi,” Jack said, “Sorry.” He pointed to his phone with his free hand. “Shitty wanted to say hi.” Which is when he turned the phone around and Joshua caught his first glimpse of Shitty, naked from the waist up, hair just a little too long to be short, but not quite long enough to be long, wide-eyed and beaming out from the phone screen. 

“Oshkosh B’Josh!” Shitty shouted. “I’ve heard so much about you man!”

“Um, hi?” Joshua lifted an awkward hand in greeting.

“My dude, thank you so much for taking care of Jack and Bits here,” Shitty said, serious. “Glad they’ve got a bud in the building, ya know?”

“Oh, yeah,” Joshua replied, guilt over his recent thoughts creeping into his gut. “No problem. Glad to have new friends, too. You know, keep me company in all this… you know. This time.” Joshua knew how pink his face must be, and he was trying very, very hard not to look at Jack. 

Shitty nodded. “Hundo p, brah.”

“Stop saying that!” someone shouted behind Shitty, who turned around to shout back. 

“I’m hip to the youth, Lards! Stop trying to harsh my mellow!”

“I’m gonna break your hip if you say hundo p one more time.”

Shitty grinned. “It’s true love, ya know?”

Joshua did not, but Shitty had a dopey look on his face that made Joshua think if that was what love did to you, he was probably better off without it. 

“So anyway, good to meet you there Josh-o,” Shitty said.

“You, too,” Joshua replied. “Hopefully in person someday.”

“Absolutamente!” Shitty yelled with a little salute. “Alright, Jacky boy, I’m ready to make my exit. Take me away!”

Jack chuckled, and flipped the phone around again. “You ready to go, Bits?”

Joshua hadn’t even noticed Bitty come up behind him, but there he was, pasta bowl in one hand, the other landing on Joshua’s shoulder to give a little squeeze.

“Yup!” Bitty said. “Have a good night!” he said to Joshua. “Thanks for the company.”

Joshua’s shoulder was warm and tingling and he knew exactly what was happening to him and it was bad, bad news. “Any time,” he told Bitty anyway, seeing them out. When the door finally closed behind them, lock clicking into place, Joshua let himself slide down to the ground, knees pressed tight against his chest, and tried to focus on breathing, one in, one out, and not on the way Jack’s eyes seemed to dance when he was amused, or the way Bitty’s feet had felt pressed against his leg. He banged his head once against the door, hoping to knock the thoughts right out of his brain, but it was no use. He was in so much trouble. 

  
  


+

“It’s my birthday and I would like to get drunk,” Bitty said when Joshua opened the door. 

It had been a couple days since the ice cream incident, as Joshua had begun to think of it, and life had suddenly seemed increasingly busy. The end of the school year was approaching, and Joshua was struggling to keep his students on track. If he’d also been actively inventing projects and to-do lists in order to stay further away from Jack and Bitty, well, it was only in the spirit of self-preservation. But there they were, standing in his doorway, and Joshua couldn’t help it. “Um,” he said, stepping aside so Bitty could come in, Jack trailing behind him holding several tupperware containers full of food. “Happy birthday?” 

“Thank you,” Bitty said, marching into Joshua’s kitchen. “Now, where are your glasses?”

“What size glass we talking about?” Joshua asked, offering a hand to Jack, who passed him a few containers. 

Bitty poked his head around the corner and waggled his eyebrows. “How big you got?”

Several margaritas and two plates of tacos later Joshua was full, and warm, and buzzed, and entirely too affected by the way Bitty was dancing around his kitchen like he owned the place, shaking his ass to Shakira and trailing his hands across Jack’s shoulders in a way that wasn’t entirely decent. 

Jack, for his part, had not had very much to drink, and seemed remarkably unbothered by Bitty’s interference as he tried to wash dishes in Joshua’s sink. Until, that is, Bitty grabbed a not inconsiderable chunk of his ass and Jack turned around with red cheeks and soapy hands to hiss out, “ _ Bits _ ,” like a warning. 

Joshua couldn’t stop looking at his hands, then, sudsy and enormous, dripping dish soap onto the tile. He wondered how it felt to have those hands on you. 

Bitty, who knew exactly what it felt like to have those hands on you, just smirked and continued his sashay around the kitchen, making eyes at Joshua as he passed, and Joshua felt a blush begin to crawl up his face. This is not how he thought this day was going to go, and he still didn’t know where, exactly, it was going. 

When the dishes were done, Bitty declared it time for a movie, and flopped himself down onto Joshua’s sofa to begin scrolling aimlessly through Netflix. In the kitchen Joshua watched, face still uncomfortably hot, as Jack dried his hands off on a dish towel. He pulled out the last tupperware container, filled to the brim with round, white cookies covered in powdered sugar, and offered it to Joshua with a smile. Joshua tried one, felt it melt away like cotton candy on his tongue, and immediately reached for another. Jack’s hand got in the way though, and Joshua laughed and pulled his own hand back, only for Jack to reach out, slowly, cookie held between his fingers. And maybe Joshua was misreading every signal, and maybe this was going to backfire spectacularly, and maybe he had had one margarita too many, but he leaned in and wrapped his lips around the cookie, felt the sugar start to dissolve on his tongue, tasted the tips of Jack’s fingers, just barely in his mouth, and then they were gone. Joshua licked the sugar off his lips, watched Jack’s eyes go lidded and heavy, and thought,  _ huh. Okay. _

“There’s nothing to watch!” Bitty whined from the living room. “Joshua, pick me a movie.”

Grateful for a task, Joshua stood up immediately, Jack’s eyes still on him, and replied, “What are you in the mood for?”

“I dunno,” Bitty said. “Something sappy.”

Joshua took the offered remote and started scrolling. “Okay, like Disney sappy, or like Beaches sappy?”

“Not sandy,” Bitty said, flapping a hand. “Sappy.”

Joshua snorted. “Beaches like the movie, not the place.”

Bitty just shrugged, and Joshua’s eyes widened a fraction. 

“Wait, have you never seen Beaches?” 

Bitty shrugged again, and Jack, who had washed the last of the powdered sugar off his fingers (not that Joshua noticed), just blinked at him. “Is that a movie?” he asked. 

Joshua boggled at them both. “Yes, it’s a movie!” he said, a little hysterical. “It is one of the most quintessential gay movies of the 20th centuy, but that’s not really the point.”

“Oh,” Bitty said, head lolling back against the armrest. “Was there a point?”

“The point-” Joshua said, jabbing the remote buttons with an alarming ferocity, “Is that there is a gaping hole in your gay education.” 

“I’m bi, actually,” Jack supplied, dropping down onto the couch.

“That is beside the point!” Joshua said wildly. Then, a little more calmly, “This is a cultural touchstone. It features one of the most famous songs of all time, sung night after night in drag clubs across the country, and is an integral part of the queer canon. Therefore,” he said, queuing up the movie and glaring daggers in Jack and Bitty’s direction as they started to giggle, “it demands the utmost respect.”

Jack’s face twisted as he tried to school it into something serious, and Bitty rolled his eyes before flopping over to lay across Jack’s lap. “Just play the damn movie then,” Bitty said. 

And Joshua did. And Bitty and Jack spent the entire movie commenting on how terrible it was. Joshua shushed them every time, and eventually just took to punching whichever part of them he could reach to get them to shut up. But it was nice all the same, spending the evening with them. It was relaxed and casual in a way Joshua hadn’t felt yet, and maybe it was the margaritas talking, but Joshua knew he would miss this if, and hopefully when, quarantine ended. 

But, in the absence of an end-date, weekly movie night became a thing. Before Joshua knew it, two months had passed, the world was still locked up, and Jack and Bitty were still coming over every Friday to watch the latest in Joshua’s never-ending line up of favorite films. 

The last week of July brought them The King and I. “It’s historical!” Joshua promised Jack. “It’s musical!” he promised Bitty. And, as far as Joshua was concerned, it was never a bad night to watch Deborah Kerr. Jack and Bitty, as always, provided a running commentary of how outdated the film was, how questionable the plot was, how problematic the costumes and the actors and the writing were. But Joshua didn’t care. He felt himself, like always, getting swept up in the music and the romance. And, as a denizen of his own strange new world, had more empathy for Anna than he ever had before. Which is why, four months into a seemingly never-ending lock down, and feeling braver than he’d felt in a long time, Joshua suddenly hopped up from his seat and offered a hand to Jack. His heart was too far up his throat to make any words, but he raised an eyebrow and Jack seemed to understand. Smiling, Jack stood up and took Joshua’s hand. On screen, Yul Brenner was offering a hand to Deborah Kerr, music swelling up behind them. In Joshua’s living room, Jack’s hand was heavy in his, and they were skipping around the coffee table to one-two-three and around the sofa. It was not graceful. Joshua wasn’t sure who was leading, they were at least two counts off beat, and Jack kept tripping over his own sneakers, which he’d kicked off some time earlier. On the couch, Bitty was doubled over in laughter. Jack, grinning, asked if he thought he could do better, and Bitty was up and cutting in before Joshua even had a chance to slow down. And to his credit, Bitty was better. He led with confidence, dancing Joshua around the apartment, socked feet sliding carelessly across the hardwood. The movie played on behind them. Yul Brenner moved his hand to Deborah Kerr’s waist and Bitty did the same, fingers resting lightly just above the hem of Joshua’s t-shirt. It pulled them closer together, Bitty’s body suddenly just inches from his own. It could have been the dancing, but Joshua seemed suddenly unable to catch his breath. On their next turn around the sofa Bitty let him go, spinning over to Jack, who caught him with a smile. Joshua let his legs buckle underneath him, dropping down onto the sofa, heart pounding. Bitty was leading Jack in stumbling circles, chiding him on his coordination. Joshua just watched, and tried to ignore the churning in his stomach that he thought might be envy. But then they were beside him again.

“One more try,” Jack said, and then he was pulling Joshua to his feet. 

And maybe, Joshua thought, hand going down to rest just above Jack’s hip, bright cloud of music flying beneath their feet, just maybe, this kind of thing could happen. 

+

The thing that surprised Joshua the most about it when it finally did happen was that none of them were drunk. It was just a normal night, a Tuesday, of all days, and he was sitting on Jack and Bitty’s sofa. The TV was tuned to the history channel, where something tragic and educational was being broadcast in sixteen parts. Jack was lounging in a chair, feet up on the coffee table. Bitty was stretched out across the couch cushions with his head propped up on Joshua’s thigh. Joshua had just finished reviewing homework assignments, laptop finally powered down, and he was feeling warm and comfortable and like he never wanted to move. He let his head tip back against the sofa and shut his eyes, thinking he really ought to go back to his own apartment soon. Someone on the television was shouting about Oxyclean, and Bitty was slowly snaking a hand underneath Joshua’s shirt. 

Joshua opened his eyes.

Bitty had rolled his head back to look at him. His fingers were warm against Joshua’s skin, just sitting there under the cotton like they belonged. Then they were turning, and Bitty gave the fabric a little tug. 

“Take this off?” Bitty asked. 

Joshua looked across the room at Jack, who had moved his feet to the floor. He was sitting up, watching, and so Joshua took a breath, reached for the hem of his t-shirt, and managed to get it off without getting stuck in it, which felt like as much grace as he could possibly ask for in this moment. 

Bitty hummed his approval, and Joshua tried to stem the rising tide of self-consciousness threatening to overtake him. It did not help that Bitty was sitting up to take his own shirt off, revealing miles of smooth skin and slender muscle, toned where Joshua was soft - still an athlete’s body even after all these months. Joshua’s mouth made a sound that might have been a giggle, or possibly a shriek, but whichever it was it was certainly not sexy. In the background Jack was scooting to the edge of his seat, and Oxyclean was getting out even the toughest stains in the laundry ad that wouldn’t end.

“Tell me if you want me to stop,” Bitty said gently, and then he was swinging a leg over Joshua to settle in his lap, arms resting lightly on Joshua’s bare shoulders, and Joshua felt like his skin was singing. Looking back, he was sure they’d all been trundling towards this moment since May, when Jack started to stare, and Bitty started to touch. It played out in his head like a sixteen part history channel documentary, the first touch multiplying into two, wandering hands finding more and more welcome with each passing day until this day, Tuesday, with Bitty sitting in his lap, stone cold sober, and leaning in for a kiss. Joshua did not tell him to stop. 

In fact, Joshua did not say stop for the next two hours, the weirdest, slowest, sexiest two hours of his life, and Joshua did not fully understand how he got here, but he was so happy to have arrived. He didn’t go home that night. He woke up the next morning in an unfamiliar bed, Bitty snuggled up against him, Jack’s alarm blaring out of the early morning silence. Bitty groaned, and Jack dropped a kiss onto his forehead, a sorry mumbled into his skin. Bitty squinted up at him. “You’re not seriously going running right now, are you?”

Jack just chuckled, and Joshua watched him pull on a t-shirt and stick his tongue out at Bitty before leaving. 

Bitty just rolled his eyes and smushed his face deeper into the pillows. 

Awareness of what occurred last night was settling onto Joshua like a lead weight, and despite his brain screaming at him to get up, he felt suddenly unable to move. This had been a terrible idea. He didn’t belong here. There was no way this was going to end well. Oh god, what had he been thinking? But he knew what he’d been thinking. He’d been thinking that Jack and Bitty were wonderful, and hot, and welcoming, and oh dear god he was in their bed. “I have to go,” he finally managed to say. 

“What?” Bitty said, halfway to dozing off again.

“I’m sorry,” Joshua said, sitting up. “I’m- I shouldn’t- This was a mistake.”

Bitty sat up too, face furrowed. “It was?”

“Yes!” Joshua said, feeling out of his mind and sick to his stomach and like he probably should just go home and crawl under the bed to live for eternity. He raked a frantic hand through his hair, turned to look at Bitty, and Bitty was- Bitty was looking sad, which is not what Joshua expected. He took a breath, considering. “Wasn’t it?”

“I don’t think so,” Bitty replied gently. “And I know Jack doesn’t either.” 

“But…” and Joshua didn’t really know what he wanted to say but he knew that this didn’t seem like a thing he should be allowed to have, that there was no point in his life leading up to this moment where this would have seemed in any way believable. 

Bitty put a careful hand on his arm. “How bout we talk about this over breakfast?”

And Joshua wanted, desperately, to let Bitty lead him into the kitchen and pour him a cup of coffee and make him breakfast. He wanted to talk about this bizarre and magical thing that was happening, and he wanted to stay close enough for Bitty to be able to touch him whenever he wanted. But if he didn’t leave now, he may never leave, and he had to leave at some point. So he very carefully pulled his arm away from Bitty. “I have to go get ready for school,” he said. Which was true. He had to get ready to teach a class of ten year olds about polygons and pretend like he wasn’t having some kind of belated quarter life crisis. 

“Okay,” Bitty said. “But come back tonight? To talk,” he clarified after seeing the face Joshua was making, somewhere between lust and terror. 

“Okay,” Joshua agreed, and then he was leaving, running back to his own apartment. He immediately took two showers in quick succession, deciding on the second after he got done with the first and could still smell Jack’s aftershave on his neck. He put on the least sexy outfit he could find, which included a pair of jeans two sizes too big that had gotten mixed up with his laundry during one particularly tragic visit to a laundromat, as well as the sweater his mother had knit for him last Chanukah that had “A+” emblazoned across the front. 

And, by what was most likely years of training kicking in but what actually felt like sheer force of will and possibly a small miracle, Joshua made it through the school day. He said goodbye to his students, graded the previous day’s homework, replied to the emails he’d been avoiding, cleaned out his fridge, and unloaded the dishwasher. Then, at 5:30, a text pinged on his phone. 

_ Come over? _

Joshua looked down at his outfit and considered changing. “Fuck it,” he said instead, and marched out of his apartment. 

Jack answered on the first knock. “Nice sweater,” he said. 

“Thanks,” Joshua replied. “My mom made it.”

Jack strangled back a laugh, which was very chivalrous of him, Joshua thought. “Come in,” Jack said, and so Joshua did. He’d barely made it over the threshold before Jack was handing him a glass of wine, steering him to the living room where there was fresh bread and crackers and cheese and what appeared to be a pie.

“He’s been baking all day,” Jack explained. 

“He does that sometimes,” Joshua replied, because he’d now been witness to several marathon bakes since getting to know Bitty. 

Jack nodded. “It gets worse when he’s nervous,” he said, and Joshua knew the feeling. Except instead of baking all day Joshua had vacuumed his upholstery. 

“Hey, you,” Bitty said, coming out from the kitchen. “How was your day?”

“Um,” Joshua said. “Fine?”

“Good, good,” Bitty replied. “I like your sweater.”

“My mom made it,” Joshua said again. 

“She must be a wonderful knitter. My mama tries to knit me and Jack scarves every year, but they always come out looking more like shoelaces. I keep telling her that she can just buy us something, but she says that’s just not as special. Now I got a whole box of skinny scarves we’ll just never do anything with.” Bitty hadn’t taken a breath in what seemed to Joshua like many minutes, and he was starting to be concerned. He did finally stop though, and in the impending silence Joshua wished desperately he would start talking again. It was not one of those comfortable silences that they’d all gotten so good at since the spring. This was an entirely uncomfortable silence, the kind that hangs in the air like a bad smell, where the only remedy feels like opening a window and jumping out. Joshua was just beginning to consider the option when Bitty finally spoke up. 

“This shouldn’t be this awkward!” He shouted, a little too loud, and clapped a hand over his mouth. “Sorry,” he mumbled between his fingers. “I just mean, we’re all grown ups here, we made a choice that made all of us happy, and surely we can figure this out.”

Jack nodded in agreement, and Joshua shrugged, helpless to articulate the way his stomach was turning to cement. 

“I just… Why me?” Joshua asked. “I mean, is it just because we’re all stuck together in this thing and then as soon as we’re allowed out again it’s just poof,” Joshua made a disappearing gesture with his hands, “everything goes back to normal?”

Bitty opened his mouth to respond but Jack got there first. “Why can’t this be normal?” he asked. 

Joshua flapped a frantic hand at them both. “Because you’re you! Because I’m the fourth grade teacher who happens to live next door, and you guys are basically celebrities!”

Jack shrugged. “Minor celebrities, though,” he said.

“This is crazy!” Joshua didn’t understand how they weren’t worried. He was worried. Worried that this would be wonderful until it wasn’t, that the magic of this particular moment in time would just fizzle out one day, and Jack and Bitty would still be Jack and Bitty and Joshua would just be Joshua - alone, again. And that was how all relationships worked, in the end, but this felt bigger, somehow, and Joshua just couldn’t understand how they couldn’t see it, couldn’t understand how they were sure this was right. “Why?” he asked again. “Why me?” 

“Because you’re kind,” Bitty said, immediately, like he’d been waiting for the chance. “And funny. And attractive.”

Joshua felt the flush crawling up his neck. 

“And we like spending time with you,” Bitty said. 

“And,” Jack continued seriously, “because you’ve never treated me like a celebrity.” And then, like an afterthought, added “And because you changed my taillight.”

Joshua just blinked at them, words finally registering, meaning sinking in, and- “You wanna fuck me because I can change a taillight?”

Bitty balked. “Of course not!” he said, at the same time that Jack said, “Yes.”

“Jack!” Bitty chided, slapping him on the arm, but Joshua was already laughing, great honking laughs tearing out of him, relief and joy and  _ maybe this will work  _ washing over him. 

“What?” Jack asked, pushing Bitty away. “It was hot.”

“Good lord,” Bitty mumbled. “Honestly, though, he’s been insufferable about it ever since,” he said to Joshua. “If they’d told me in driver’s ed that car maintenance would make a man look at me like that I would’ve paid a helluva lot more attention.”

Jack just shrugged, lopsided grin on his face, and Joshua wanted so desperately to kiss him. Which was on offer, he realized. It was all on the table, everything he’d been telling himself he couldn’t have, they were just going to give it to him. He’d have to be a fool not to take it, even if it was only for right now, even if it would inevitably end in tears, even if the world shifted on its axis again in a week, or a month, Joshua would regret it forever if he didn’t try. 

“I like you guys, too, you know,” he said, and was delighted by the blush that graced Bitty’s cheeks, the smile Jack sent his way. 

“How about we just take it a day at a time, eh?” Jack offered. “See what happens.”

“Yeah,” Joshua said, summoning up the bravery he’d first found that night back in July, Deborah Kerr cheering him on, and reached out a hand to them both. “I think I can handle that.”


End file.
